Of Bug Bites and Soul Calibur
by Kohaku no Hime
Summary: Written for Always a Bookworm. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY BIT ME?" No pairings, set post-series, story edited 10/2011.


_Present for _Always a Bookworm_._

_This particular story was written because she pointed out something that hadn't occurred to me: how DID Ryou and Noa get to be such good friends in "The Return" ? I had never quite elaborated how they got to be such close buddies. _

_This fic hopefully answers that._

* * *

All was not well at the Kaiba manor.

It was a rather cold and rainy autumn day, for starters. Although some people like autumn and some people like rain, not very many seem to like rainy autumn days. And like all rainy day stories, there was a decided problem with it.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY BIT ME?"

…Take the case of one Noa Kaiba, for example.

Mokuba, half asleep and in his pajamas, was staring at his stepbrother with a combination of alarm and amusement. "Noa, are you okay?" asked the child, torn between wanting to laugh and feeling concerned.

The mint haired boy's body, from what Mokuba could see, was covered in red dots and patches; his neck in particular had gone bright red because of Noa's frantic attempts to relieve the itching. The older Kaiba currently sat on his bed, clad only in a pair of boxer briefs. "Does it look like I am doing okay?" replied Noa irritably, scratching frantically at a spot behind his ears. "I feel like someone walked into my bedroom last night and swapped my skin for wool."

Mokuba heard a movement behind him and turned in time to see Seto walk up to the doorway. The brunette was wearing a dark turtleneck and slacks, but no duster; when Seto did not have to make public appearances he wore normal attire, though Noa pointed out that it was a rare occurrence when that happened.

Seto took one look at Noa and said, "I believe that there are such things as mosquitoes in the world, in response to your earlier question."

The green haired Kaiba glared at his elder stepbrother and snapped, "I know they exist, you idget. But they don't freaking bite you _sixty_ different times! _Sixty_! I even counted them all! One mosquito is just not capable of that!"

"Is it chicken pox, Noa?" asked Mokuba worriedly, backing away anxiously.

Noa shot his younger brother a look. "Yeah, Mokuba, it's chicken pox. All these spots on my arms are from where the pillow factory removed my feathers."

In the next second, Noa yelped as Seto's thrown staple remover (retrieved from Noa's desk) successfully contacted the shorter boy's forehead. "Be nice," retorted Seto flatly. "Mokuba is not the cause of the problem."

Noa sighed before looking to Mokuba and said, "Sorry, kid. It isn't chicken pox—I had that when I was a kid, so I can't get it again."

"Theoretically you can. There have been a few instances where people have caught the chicken pox twice," Seto pointed out.

"…The grass is green."

The brunette raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"Nothing. I wanted to see if you would contradict me on it," said Noa flatly, once more scratching his neck.

Seto's eyes rolled. "Some genius you are. You haven't even thought about taking Benadryl."

"Gee, I wonder why I haven't done that yet. Oh yeah—I have three tests today and I can't afford to be drugged out of my mind for them."

"You know, shooting down every suggestion that we're giving isn't helping you any, Noa. Besides, you're always bragging about your intellect. Benadryl won't affect your cognitive functions that badly."

"You wanna bet?" muttered Noa, scratching fervently at a spot on his arm.

"Is it really that much of a problem?"

"Clearly you've never seen someone doped outta their mind on Benadryl."

"...Mokuba, could you bring me the phone?" asked Seto after watching Noa furiously scratch at his calf. The ebony haired child jumped at being addressed so suddenly, but nodded and disappeared from the room.

Seto crossed the room and sat on Noa's mattress, taking one of the boy's arms and investigating the angry red skin intently. After a brief moment of silence he announced, "It is definitely not chicken pox, and these are too big for them to be mosquito bites. Possibly, you're allergic to whatever left these."

"Why did you make Mokuba go get the phone?" inquired Noa, who had stopped scratching long enough to look up at his brother curiously.

At that point Mokuba returned with the device in hand, and Seto took it wordlessly as he began to dial a phone number. Shortly after he put it to his ear, he said, "Mr. Moreson, this is Seto Kaiba. I'm calling you today to let you know that Noa has come down with a cold and that he will not be attending school until he gets better. Noa brought it to my attention that he has tests today, however, and his teachers need to be notified immediately of his absence."

Seto listened for one more second before he said, "Thank you," and hung up. He then looked over at Noa and stated, "Now you can take the Benadryl."

Mokuba smothered his giggles behind his hands when he caught sight of Noa's bewildered expression, while Noa stared at his stepbrother with a completely disbelieving look. "Seto, you shameless felon. You just outright lied to my principal."

"I didn't lie. I told a partial truth: you do have tests today," replied Seto calmly, leaving the room. "Noa, stay in bed. I'll be right back with the Benadryl."

Noa turned to look at Mokuba, who was now openly laughing. "Kid, I think it's safe to say that Seto needs to re-evaluate his moral code. Anyone who can tell an outright lie and justify it as a partial truth without cracking a smile is a dangerous person."

At that precise moment a bottle of calamine lotion flew through the open door and contacted Noa's head. While the shorter boy cursed loudly as he clutched at his wounded forehead Seto reappeared, walking into Noa's bedroom and depositing a box of Benadryl on the bedside table.

"Come on, Mokuba. You still have school today," said Seto, ushering his youngest brother out the door. "Besides, it isn't safe to leave you here—you might catch whatever disease Noa has."

"I'll have you know that these are bug bites, not a disease!" called Noa after his brother.

"Who said I was talking about the bug bites? I was referring to your stupidity."

"…You're lucky you're not in the room anymore."

* * *

He had never been to this place before.

Now granted, he knew it existed and he knew that almost everyone in the city knew where it was. But it was so far out of the way of his normal route home that he never had taken the time to go see it; he had never had a reason to come here until today.

Jounouchi might have come, but the blond hated Kaiba with a passion akin to a fiery sun (plus he had needed remedial lessons in mathematics); Honda was with his father, observing police-related work—the hazel-eyed boy planned on following in his father's footsteps and becoming a member of the Domino City police; Anzu and Yugi both had come down with colds themselves, preventing them from taking Noa's homework to the ailing boy; and Otogi was out of town at the moment on business.

Which left Ryou Bakura to be the errand boy.

Not that he minded—he was already on friendly terms with Noa, and had been since the other teen had shown up a month and a half ago.

Of all of Yugi's friends, Ryou was the only one who had no prior experience with Noa at all. Apparently during the Battle City tournament (of which he had no memory at all), they had come across Noa in some sort of virtual reality game. Though the details were vague, Ryou had gotten the distinct impression that Noa had not been a very nice person.

However, since he had not seen what Noa had done for himself and since he knew that Noa was sorry for the whole mess, Ryou was more than willing to give the shorter teen a chance. Besides, he himself understood what it was like to be apologetic for something that he had done in the past—and if he could be given a chance, so could Noa.

The white haired teen looked at the moderately sized mansion with a mix of awe and curiosity. Though it was still large enough to be called a mansion, it was small enough to avoid being called ostentatious; the lawn was neatly kept, and the trees bordering the house were also maintained.

Ryou looked away from the mansion and at the gate, noticing the call box and pushing the intercom button. When a voice inquired who was visiting, he said, "I'm here to give Noa his homework that he missed today."

"_Your name?"_

"Ryou Bakura."

_"Occupation?"_

Ryou blinked. "Um…student?"

_"Marital status?"_

…now this was pushing it.

"Sir, it would be safe to assume that, since I am a student, I am not married," replied Ryou respectfully, though the undercurrent of irritation accompanied it.

After all, having a temperamental tomb robber share your body did leave behind a slight amount of influence.

A laugh sounded on the other end of the intercom. "_You got a point. Come on in, kid."_

The gate swung open, and Ryou walked cautiously up the sidewalk, looking around him as he went. Because of all the rain falling, every color that was in the yard seemed to be bursting with color—the grass was a much more vivid green than it normally was and the leaves of the oak trees were spectacular shades of red, yellow, and orange.

As Ryou walked up, the door opened abruptly. A young man with sunglasses perched atop of slightly unkempt brown hair poked his head out the door and grinned brightly at him. "Sorry 'bout the twenty questions, but it's kinda protocol to ask them," he said, blue-green eyes twinkling in slight mischief. "My name's Thomas. You must be Ryou Bakura."

Ryou felt a smile appear on his face at the friendly welcome. "Yes, I am."

"Why don't you come on in? It's more than a little damp outside," Thomas continued, opening the door a little wider. Ryou hurried inside, the warm air from the house inviting him in.

As Ryou looked around he once again noticed the decoration of the place. Like the outside, it was built modestly—there was nothing inside that spoke volumes of the Kaiba's wealth, yet it was tastefully decorated. The front staircase was wide but at the same time it was just the right size. The inside of the mansion felt…comfortable, to say the least.

As if reading his mind, Thomas grinned and said, "Mr. Kaiba likes his home to be able to function, but he also keeps it decorated for the media when they come here. He doesn't like flaunting his wealth too much—his reputation, plus that Blue Eyes jet of his, does that enough."

Ryou fought to keep his face straight. "So, Thomas, what is it you do here?" he asked.

"Me? I'm on Mr. Kaiba's security team, though I also have been known to be a chauffeur. Today, though, I've been demoted to babysitter," replied Thomas, rolling his eyes. "My uncle's head of Kaiba Corporation security, and I happened to like what he does for a living so I joined the bandwagon. I will admit, though, that it wasn't so easy to do."

"Your uncle?" asked Ryou.

"Yeah—black hair, answers to the name of Roland. Know him?"

Ryou thought about it for a moment, then nodded as the man's face appeared in his mind. "Yes, I remember him."

"Good. Now that we've gotten done with the social niceties, how about we give Noa his homework?" said Thomas, climbing the staircase. "And no worries—Noa doesn't have a cold. He had a whole bunch bug bites and it turned out he's allergic to spiders."

"Is he all right?" asked Ryou in concern.

"Yeah, but he's doped out of his mind on Benadryl—the poor kid's been asleep for half the day, and when he's awake he's like a zombie," replied Thomas, shaking his head. "Right about now, though, the Benadryl should be wearing off, so he might be semi-coherent this time."

"Semi-coherent?"

"He told me earlier that Mr. Kaiba had suddenly sprouted wings and was off to save the world from the flying cupcakes."

Ryou let out a startled laugh. "Really?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yup."

Thomas stopped before an open doorway and knocked lightly on the frame. "Hey, Pinky, you have company," he stated brightly.

"That's Mr. Pinky to you, Thomas," replied a sleep-filled but irritated voice.

Noa was sitting on a sofa bed, wrapped up comfortably in a quilt and blinking owlishly at the door. He was clad in a plain white t-shirt and pajama bottoms. His blue eyes were glazed, but still showed some sign of coherence. Wherever there were not clothes or blankets Noa's skin was a bright shade of pink, as if he had been sunburned.

The mint haired Kaiba looked over at the door, blinked several times, then rubbed his eyes fervently. "Mokuba, did you get a growth spurt and did you bleach your hair?"

Ryou exchanged a confused glance with Thomas; the guard was looking as if he was trying his hardest to keep a straight face. After a last moment of hesitation, Ryou scratched the back of his sheepishly and said, "Actually Noa, I'm not Mokuba."

Noa squinted at Ryou before smacking his forehead with his palm. "Sorry, Ryou. This Benadryl thing's got me seeing things," he muttered. He glanced down at his arm and grimaced at the pink color. "I bet you money that Seto deliberately chose the pink calamine lotion just because he knew it would clash with my hair."

Ryou chuckled at the comment, entering the room and sitting in the sofa chair opposite Noa. He set his backpack on the coffee table in between them and began getting out the papers that Noa needed. "I brought your homework."

Noa looked at the small pile of papers and groaned. "It figures—the one day I have to stay home is the one day all the teachers decide to overwhelm us with homework."

Ryou frowned. "You shouldn't have a problem finishing it. You usually don't."

"Normally I wouldn't. Then again, normally I'm not on drugs."

"Ah," said Ryou in realization. "You're one of those people who react strongly to Benadryl."

"Yeah, and it's a good thing that it is wearing off right about now. Earlier, I don't even remember what I did, and I wouldn't be having this conversation with you," replied Noa, rubbing at his eyes.

"If you'd like, I could help you at least stay on track with it. If you try to do it by yourself you're going to lose focus easily," volunteered Ryou helpfully.

"You sure about that? I don't want to make your parents wait for you," said Noa.

"I'm sure. I don't have any other place to be right now, and it seems that you are in need of a study partner—at least until one of your brothers comes home," replied Ryou, smiling slightly.

Noa seemed to think about that for a few moments before grinning. "All right, then. Looks like I have a new study partner."

* * *

"What the heck, Ryou? How could you have beaten Nightmare with Angol Fear? He's one of the most powerful characters in the game and he got owned by some weird moon fairy!"

Ryou laughed as the mint haired Kaiba glared at the KO on the screen. "I honestly couldn't tell you. I haven't played this game before."

"That, sir, is a bold-faced lie. There is no way a greenhorn like you could beat me at this game," retorted Noa, scratching at a red patch on his arm.

Originally, the two of them had been studying for the tests that Noa had missed that day. They had been doing that for half an hour before Noa announced that he was bored and that he couldn't focus because of the Benadryl; he'd then gotten out Soul Caliber, asking if Ryou wanted to play (his focus. Naturally Ryou accepted the invitation, even though he knew that he was no good at video games.

Apparently, he was good at this one.

"It must be because this is based slightly on a role playing game," said Ryou thoughtfully. "I mostly prefer games like Dungeons and Dragons."

"Really? I used to play that game all the time when I was younger. You're going to have to invite me over to your home some time," said Noa, frowning as he scratched at a patch on his neck.

Ryou slung his backpack over his shoulder and glanced at the clock. "It seems that I was here for two hours," he commented with visible surprise.

"Time flies when you're having fun," said Noa, now scratching absently at his shoulder. His eyes flashed in annoyance and discomfort; the itching sensation had returned, and Noa was fighting to not start attacking his skin with his fingernails.

Ryou noticed the slightly uncomfortable look on Noa's face and asked, "Do you need me to go?"

The other teen hesitated, then nodded with slight embarrassment. "Sorry, Ryou, but it looks like I need more Benadryl. I won't be good company if I'm drugged out of my mind."

"That's all right, Noa," said Ryou cheerfully. "I know what it's like to have allergic reactions to something—I myself am allergic to a certain washing detergent. I'll see you in school tomorrow."

"Assuming that whatever bit me doesn't strike again," muttered Noa, nonetheless rising to his feet and following Ryou out of the room.

"If that's the case, I'll see you tomorrow when I bring over your missed assignments."

"Do you need a ride home, Ryou?" asked Noa as the two boys descended the stairs. "It isn't raining now, but I can guarantee that it will be in a minute. And I'm sure Thomas wouldn't mind taking you home."

"It's all right. My home is twenty or so minutes from here, and I have my umbrella," responded Ryou, pulling the device from his backpack as he spoke. He opened it and waved cheerfully to them as he walked down the sidewalk. "See you later, Noa!"

"The next time you come over here I am going to _own_ you in Soul Caliber!" called Noa after Ryou's retreating back.

The other teen laughed but did not turn around, continuing to walk until he reached the front gate and disappeared from view.

Noa grinned contentedly, shutting the door and once more padding up the stairs. It had been fun, he decided, to play against Ryou in Soul Caliber. The other boy was certainly a challenge in the game, and he had been getting rather bored of playing Mokuba or Seto (mostly Mokuba; Noa never could work out how Seto managed to beat him without getting damaged once in the entire battle).

He took two of the pink pills and climbed back onto the sofa bed. It had been nice to have a friend over…perhaps he ought to do it again, when he wasn't covered head to toe in pink gunk and halfway drugged out of his mind.

He certainly would have to practice, though.

Ryou was a pretty darn good player, despite the fact that he had never even played the game.

* * *

_I am kinda sure that there is going to be a second chapter to this, but for now I am leaving it as a oneshot. I still have work to do on "The Return," so that will be eating up my time. Plus college break is over (sadness) and I will be updating slower than ever._

_Once again, Always a Bookworm, thank you INFINITY for your patience._

_KoK out._


End file.
